im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
