gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
