its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I die, sorry about rent.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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