I accidentally burped into my bong.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
