He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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