I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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