Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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