This is not my ceiling
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
