Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
