NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
