The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
