You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
