tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
