he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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