I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
