But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
being pregnant is like rehab
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
