I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
