I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
