Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
