My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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