new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
