he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The ass gains better be worth it
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