Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
