can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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