It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
