Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
