When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
