4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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