I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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