just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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