Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
