so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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