i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
