yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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