I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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