love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
