drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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