People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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