My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
