and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Panties = found
Randomize
