On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
