How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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