Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
