Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it's like iHOP with fire
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I love you. Go after that dick
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
