I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
