Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
her facebook's as public as her vagina
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
