but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
