the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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