Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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