I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
